walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
