he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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