Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
