I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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