You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
North Korea, Best Korea!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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