I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
