Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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