I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sorry about my life...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
