I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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