I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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