u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
