Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
