Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
