Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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