Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
