walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
