nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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