I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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