Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
