i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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