Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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