margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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