this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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