hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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