how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
