fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
