The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
All I want is dick and wine.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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