Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
