He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just high enough for therapy.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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