There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
