And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
