The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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