i just google imaged poop.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
