did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Me too!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
