on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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