On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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