don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
