According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
God, I missed his penis.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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