I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
