so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
