If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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