It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
