that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
