That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
