I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
