Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
