One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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