Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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