i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
