I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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