Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
