just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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