Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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