I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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