Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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