so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
