Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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