Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
