i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
