We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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