He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
