You're my little dorito
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Are my feet made of real feet?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
