I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
