I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
