Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
