I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize