I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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