You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
