Tell her she can't have a vagina
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
