Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
