you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
