His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize