Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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