Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
