Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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