you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
