Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
